Picture this: your phone lights up with a text from your best friend. It says, “do you have time to talk?” You say yes, of course — hoping everything is OK. Your friend calls you and he asks you one of the biggest questions one guy can ask another. “Will you be my best man?”

This scenario plays out in one form or another every day. And while pretty much everyone says yes to the question, many people aren’t actually aware of or prepared for the sheer volume of best man responsibilities.

That’s because a groom’s best man responsibilities begin long before the wedding day. A good best man provides support in a variety of ways before, during, and after the wedding. Obviously, every wedding is different, but, by looking at what most best men need to do to fulfil their role, you can get a good idea of what will be asked of you as a best man or what to look for when choosing the person you want standing next to you at your wedding.

Primary Best Man Responsibilities

Before we get into any sort of best man responsibilities checklist, we should cover the major parts of being a best man that most people are aware of.

• Support for the Groom: The best man is, first and foremost, the groom’s right-hand man. Helping the groom keep an even keel as the ceremony approaches and helping resolve stressors so that the wedding couple can relax and enjoy their big day.
• Organization Duty: Pop culture has given us all kinds of movies and TV shows featuring best men putting together huge bachelor parties. And while that is something that generally falls to the best man, there are more organizational responsibilities that may fall to him.
• Keeping Track of the Rings: In many wedding traditions, one of the biggest best man support roles is getting the rings to the couple during the ceremony. That means knowing where they are at all times — whether there is a little kid or adorable dog serving as ring-bearer during the actual ceremony or not.

These are just the tip of the best man iceberg. As we go forward, we will look at these responsibilities in more depth and look at those jobs that a lot of people may not automatically associate with being a great best man.

Before the Wedding

From the moment a best man (or best woman or best person) is chosen, they become an integral part of a wedding’s preparations. Here are some ways a best man contributes before a wedding:

Organize the Groomsmen

While the selection of the groomsmen is up to the groom, the best man should take charge of them in the lead-up to the ceremony. This may involve setting up a group chat to keep everyone informed about deadlines for hotel reservations and tux fittings.

Read More: The Best Man vs the Groomsmen: Differences Between the Two Roles

Plan the Bachelor Party

The tradition of best man bachelor party planning has been around for a long time. The key to a successful bachelor party is planning it around the groom’s tastes. That may mean going to a ball game, traveling for a golf weekend, a private karaoke blowout, visiting an adult-oriented establishment, or even coordinating with the maid of honor to end the night bringing the bachelor and bachelorette parties together.

Help with Attire Selection

Helping with clothing decisions is one of the most underrated best man responsibilities. Working with the bride and groom, the best man can help provide great insight toward suit style, incorporating wedding colors, whether to go with a cummerbund or vest, and tie style.

Rehearsal

The wedding rehearsal is a great opportunity for someone who has never played the role to learn best man etiquette for the wedding ceremony. It also gives the best man the chance to check in with the ushers, bridesmaids, and ring bearers to ensure that everyone is on the same page going into the wedding.

On the Day of the Wedding

All the preparation and coordination with the other members of the wedding party leads up to the big day. Here is a breakdown of the major best man on wedding day jobs.

Prioritize the Groom

Getting married can be very stressful. That’s why the most important thing a best man can do for the groom on the big day is keep him calm, make sure he has what he needs, and ensure that he is dressed, unstressed, and on time for all the wedding day activities like photos and the ceremony itself.

Direct the Groomsmen and Ushers

A good best man will check in with the other groomsmen to make sure that they are on schedule and ready to rock on time. He will also work with the ushers to make guest seating run smoothly — he may even help with greeting and seating guests.

Track the Rings

Even if the wedding is going to feature a ring bearer, the best man should always know where the rings are and that they are good to go. That can mean double checking that, if they are being brought out on a pillow, they are secured or that the pocket he is using to store the rings doesn’t have a hole in it.

Serve as a Witness

Not every best man is asked to sign the marriage certificate as an official witness, but it is fairly common. The best man should be aware of when and where the certificate will be signed and be there to put pen to paper.

Work with the Venue

Whenever there is a big event, problems or issues can pop up. A Minneapolis wedding venue with experienced staff like The Lumber Exchange Event Center can handle pretty much anything that arises, but it is important that the best man works in conjunction with staff so that necessary decisions can be made without stressing out the wedding couple.

The Speech

Once you get to the reception, the best man needs to give a speech. For someone that is not used to public speaking, this can be terrifying. So let’s look at some best man speech tips.

First and foremost, do not go into the speech without a plan. Write down what you are going to say and practice saying it out loud. You don’t want to go blank in front of all the guests and you don’t want to stumble on your own words or ramble for longer than three to five minutes.

It is also a wise move to clear your speech with at least one member of the wedding couple. It can be incredibly awkward when a best man’s speech includes a joke that is a little too off-color or inappropriate for the occasion. If you want to surprise the groom with what you say, work with the bride.

Post Wedding Responsibilities

Best man responsibilities do not end once the speech has concluded and a toast has been offered to the newlyweds. There are still a few things the best man should handle after all is said and done.

Gift Transport

Typically, a couple gets a lot of gifts at their wedding. The best man helping to coordinate transport of the gifts after the reception gives the couple one less thing to think about so they can just focus on each other.

Returning Rentals

Since the best man helped coordinate the tux rentals for the wedding party, it makes sense for him to take charge of collecting all the rented attire and return everything in one trip.

Pitfalls to Avoid

A wedding is a massive undertaking. Being asked to be the best man is a big deal. So it is absolutely imperative that a best man take the job seriously. Imagine a hugely expensive ceremony with a best man that doesn’t appreciate the gravity of luxury wedding party roles.

With the money and emotional investment that come with a wedding, it is insulting for the best man to simply wing it when it comes time for his speech or to ignore communications from a wedding planner or venue staff member.

A wedding should be joyous and fun, but the best man still needs to be on the ball. He can’t get the groom drunk before the ceremony. He can’t skip the rehearsal. Being the best man comes with a lot of responsibility — he can be the difference between a perfect day and a disaster.

Being the Best, Best Man

Getting asked to be the best man for a friend or family member is a huge honor. And while the list of best man responsibilities is long, the joy you help provide will last in your and the groom’s memories for your whole lives.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions of people who know weddings inside and out like the team at LXMPLS. As a member of a wedding party, you and the venue staff are part of a team pulling off a huge event, so take advantage of their knowledge to be the best best man ever.