Weddings are some of the happiest days for most couples and attendees. The promise of love and hope for a brightly colored future is positively intoxicating. On the flip side, they also require quite a bit of planning, which can take a toll on the couple if they don’t have a sound support system.
Your groomsmen are one of the most pivotal support groups you will have for your wedding. But how many groomsmen can you have? Whom should you choose? What if the number is uneven, or some ‘groomsmen’ are actually women? Read on to understand all you need to know about choosing your groomsmen ahead of your big day.
What is the Average Size Groomsmen Party?
The average amount of groomsmen, based on research, is 5.3 per wedding. The survey shows the preferable number from what respondents answered. However, it ultimately depends on your interests and the vibe you’re going for in your wedding.
For instance, if you want a loud, bubbly function, then you’re likely to prefer more groomsmen than the average number. A lineup filled with different groomsmen dancing their favorite styles to various songs is a grand entrance that will relax your wedding attendees. There’s nothing like some lovely and somewhat awkward dance moves to break the ice and get your crowd laughing before the bride’s grand entrance.
What’s more, a more significant groomsmen number will help you solve the problem of offending some close family members and friends. It is expected to find some people offended as to why they didn’t make the cut for the lineup, which can leave the bride and groom feeling guilty. It is unrealistic to feature all your loved ones in the groomsmen lineup, but hopefully, accommodating several representatives from critical groups will foster a sense of inclusivity, putting you and your guest at ease.
Similarly, a smaller groomsmen number is ideal for specific wedding themes or vibes- this is especially helpful if you’re going for a small, intimate event. If you’re a super private person, the last thing you want is to have your dressing room filled with energetic peers shouting and laughing at the top of their voices as they prepare. You’re likely to prefer two or three close friends who you can share a drink with for a relaxed vibe before the wedding begins.
A key benefit of having a smaller groomsmen number is the smooth coordination of activities. Everyone knows where their suit is, and the three of you can handle any minor mishaps with ease. Unexpected challenges are common in most weddings, but it helps when the group is smaller, and consequently, the magnitude is less severe. It also leaves room for you to share your thoughts and feelings of the day in a confidential space.
How to Decide Who Your Groomsmen Will Be
There are three key things you can look out for when choosing your groomsmen: relationship, reliability, and inclusivity. Yet again, the groomsmen number is a matter of choice, but these guiding points will aid your decision-making.
The first thing to think of is ‘relationship,’ that is, how many people are you close to, and are you close enough to have them on your lineup? You want to have people you can rely on before, during, and after the wedding. Their role is to make things easy for you so that you can focus on other pressing issues.
They should take care of things like planning the bachelor’s party, paying for and following up on their suits and accessories for the day, and running random errands you don’t have time to do by yourself, such as confirming vendors. Your groomsmen are the people you know will pick what is best for you even when you are not available for confirmation, and that is why the principle of ‘relationship’ is essential.
Closely following is the place of ‘reliability.’ It would help if you didn’t have to follow up on what your groomsmen are supposed to take care of. Choose people you can rely on to get their part of the planning done with minimal or no supervision. Try to apply this to your close relationships and pick on friends who will help smoothen the often overwhelming planning process of selecting the number of groomsmen for weddings.
When it comes to inclusivity, pick groomsmen who are an accurate representation of the people you will have at our party. However, you may want your lineup to include your friends only. The reality is that a wedding is a social event, and it’s essential to include some other key parties. For example, you can have a groomsman from the bride’s side, your extended family, a friend from your religious institution, and so forth.
Have Bridesmen and Groomswomen
As adult relationships evolve, the traditional roles of bridesmaids and groomsmen are being challenged. Nowadays, grooms may have a close female friend they want on their lineup, and likewise, brides wish to have a close male friend on their side. A new trend is incorporating both men and women in your groomsmen number.
As complex as this may sound, it’s pretty simple when broken down to the tiniest details. As a groom, your ‘groomsmen’ may include a female best friend who would be a ‘grooms-woman.’ This way, you don’t have to rely on your spouse to include her in their bridesmaids lineup.
One of the first questions you may have is, ‘What does she wear?’ Have no worries; your grooms-woman doesn’t need the same tuxedo suit as the rest of the groomsmen unless she wants to. She can wear a dress of the same color as your groomsmen and have a bouquet or accessories that match the bridal team to make the attires blend seamlessly.
Another common dilemma is ‘Which events does she attend preceding the wedding?’ Most groomsmen will have little interest in participating in a full-blown bachelor party, but you can extend the invite, and she may attend for a few hours at her pleasure. However, you can also reach out to your bride to invite your grooms-woman to some girly events if she is more interested in those kinds of activities. As you go along, you’ll know which events suit her best, and she will get to pick and enjoy them.
One thing you should know is that during the wedding day, your groomswoman will match into the venue with a bridesmaid just like the other groomsmen. It will come off differently to some of your guests, but remember that the wedding should focus more on what you’re comfortable with as a couple. Some of your guests will love it, and the rest will likely be intrigued by so many other aspects of the wedding that this won’t be the thing they take away from your lovely ceremony.
The Wedding Party Doesn’t Have to Be Even on Both Sides
Release yourself from the pressure of having a perfectly numbered bridal team. Your wedding party doesn’t have to be even, that is, the same number of bridesmaids and groomsmen. You can embrace the unevenness in the groomsmen number.
When matching in, have some people in threes instead of twos: two bridesmaids and one groomsman or vice versa. Alternatively, some bridesmaids can walk in with your puppy to incorporate your pet into the ceremony. Even more subtle is having each person walk in alone without a companion, but they should move faster toward the altar.
During the ceremony, you can have them sit on the first rows instead of standing on either side. This is especially helpful if the groomsmen number is way off, say ten bridesmaids and three groomsmen. The maid of honor and best man can be the only ones who stand next to you and your spouse during the ceremony.
At the photo session, have the team mixed up in the photo instead of having the groomsmen on the left and bridesmaids on the right. You can also opt for motion pictures as you move towards the photographer; this will shift the focus from the uneven numbers. Have them mic up and form a semicircle around you and your spouse or a V shape when they are spaced out on either side.
Envision Your Wedding Day with a Certain Number of Groomsmen
Close your eyes and envision your wedding day; how many groomsmen do you see on your lineup? Lean towards that number because it is what will make you truly happy with the ceremony. If you see one, two, or even eight, then go ahead and do it.
Here are some groomsmen numbers that can help you create a more vivid vision based on the average number of groomsmen at weddings. If you’re having a small wedding of, say, 35 people, then having one or two groomsmen makes sense. If you choose ten, that’s almost a third of your attendees, which seems impractical. But if you’re inviting, say 150 guests, then you can bump this number up to eight groomsmen without overwhelming your attendees.
How Many People Do You Want to Be Groomsmen?
Once you have a tight grasp on your vision, write down the key people you think will fit this role. Use the principles of relationship, reliability, and inclusivity discussed above. Writing down your plan will save you the tortuous overthinking that is common in wedding planning. Reach out to these people and hear what they have to say about your request to have them on the lineup.
Ensure you reach out to the potential groomsmen early enough for smooth planning. By doing this, you can confirm the numbers beforehand and have them make a monetary commitment towards their plans, for example, by paying a deposit for their clothes and accessories. You may also form a social media group for updates, send an invite to each of them, and anyone interested will join the group.
Few people expect disappointment once they choose their groomsmen since these are some of the closest people. But, it is prudent to prepare for any disappointments that may arise due to avoidable or unavoidable circumstances. In case a groomsman cannot commit to the wedding, try to find a replacement, perhaps someone you wanted to invite but didn’t have the space for. Think of such a setback as all part of the process; rest easy knowing that whoever is meant to be in your lineup will be.
You need an excellent groomsmen number to have your back before, during, and after the ceremony. The question of ‘how many groomsmen in a wedding’ is relative. The ideal number based on research is 5.3 groomsmen; bigger weddings of more than a hundred can have more, while smaller weddings of less than 50 can have less. Ultimately, do what you envision and what will bring you joy.